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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Reform
Tradition
Habit
Funny
Reforming
Inspirational
Prohibition
Nothing
Sarcastic
Needs
Customs
People
Habits
More quotes by Mark Twain
You can't reason with your heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
Mark Twain
The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.
Mark Twain
Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
Mark Twain
In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
Mark Twain
God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
Mark Twain
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
Mark Twain
We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.
Mark Twain
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
Mark Twain
A good lawyer knows the law a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
Mark Twain
Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
Mark Twain
The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
Mark Twain
The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
Mark Twain
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Mark Twain
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.
Mark Twain
Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
Mark Twain
A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
Mark Twain
He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
Mark Twain
No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.
Mark Twain
When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
Mark Twain