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Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Love
Envied
Envy
Mankind
Loved
Many
Things
Men

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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
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We are all beggars, each in his own way.
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I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
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Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.
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I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW is only a small step and quickly taken.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and long-sustained misery of mind and body.
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We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.
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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.
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To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
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My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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