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Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Mankind
Loved
Many
Things
Men
Love
Envied
Envy

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Does the human being reason? No he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.
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You can't reason with your heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
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I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
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I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
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I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.
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Let your joy be unconfined!
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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
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