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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Happiness
Pessimism
Success
Optimist
Inspirational
Optimism
Young
Sadness
Misery
Sight
Youth
Sadder
Fun
Pessimist

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Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
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Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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If ever you've been down in the dumps, hear these iconic authors share with you more than their writing wisdom.
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
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There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
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If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty.
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Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
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The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
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One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
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