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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Find
Would
Miss
Missing
Wonderful
Literature
Funny
America

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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
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Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
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Synergy - the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.
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Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.
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Man proposes, but God blocks the game.
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If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.
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By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
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...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.
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I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
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Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
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There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.
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It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.
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Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded.
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