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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
America
Find
Would
Miss
Missing
Wonderful
Literature
More quotes by Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.
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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.
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The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves.
Mark Twain
Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be
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We are all beggars, each in his own way.
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There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.
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I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
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I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it.
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On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined.
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It is your human environment that makes climate
Mark Twain
I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
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Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
Mark Twain
