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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Would
Animal
Like
Race
Times
History
Farce
Art
Finish
Human
Hang
Humans
Philosophy
Whole
Humanity
More quotes by Mark Twain
Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
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In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.
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It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
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The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
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I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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Too much is just enough.
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A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
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The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.
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The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect.
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
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Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
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I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
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In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.
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We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
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