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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Humans
Philosophy
Whole
Humanity
Would
Animal
Like
Race
Times
History
Farce
Art
Finish
Human
Hang
More quotes by Mark Twain
It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.
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I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
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You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
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If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
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Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!
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One must travel, to learn.
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Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
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It is a shameful thing to insult a child.
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You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you
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In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere.
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It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth.
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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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It is wiser to find out than to suppose.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
Mark Twain
