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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Farce
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Finish
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Hang
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Whole
Humanity
Would
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Race
More quotes by Mark Twain
Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.
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The Impartial Friend: Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all--the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress and some would lose all of it.
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The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed.
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France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
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The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.
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Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
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Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
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If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.
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Homely truth is unpalatable.
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Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
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When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.
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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
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