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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Stubborn
Sarcastic
Statistics
Facts
Pliable
Analytics
Sarcasm

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.
Mark Twain
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
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Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Mark Twain
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
Mark Twain
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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.
Mark Twain
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For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
Mark Twain
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
Mark Twain
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When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.
Mark Twain
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I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
Mark Twain
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
Mark Twain
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The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.
Mark Twain
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
Mark Twain
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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
Mark Twain
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One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.
Mark Twain
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Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
Mark Twain
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from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.
Mark Twain
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Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
Mark Twain