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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Statistics
Facts
Pliable
Analytics
Sarcasm
Stubborn
Sarcastic

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure at least the pain is the biggest end of it.
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Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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It is better to support schools than jails.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
Mark Twain
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Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
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I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
Mark Twain
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Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away.
Mark Twain
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
Mark Twain
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
Mark Twain
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain
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There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
Mark Twain
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Imagination labors best in distant fields.
Mark Twain
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To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.
Mark Twain
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Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.
Mark Twain