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The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Vaccines
Explain
Language
Understand

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We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-
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A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
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... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
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Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
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I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
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If one is honest there is no need to remember.
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When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
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The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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God cures and the doctor sends the bill.
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
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The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden. Meantime, I seem to have been drifting into criticism myself. But that is nothing. At the worst, criticism is nothing more than a crime, and I am not unused to that.
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