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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Needs
Equator
Men
Wordplay
Blushing
Classic
Ethics
Integrity
Mankind
Blushes
Animal
Misanthropy

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Better a broken promise than none at all.
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If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'
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The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
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All gentle cant and philosophizing to the contrary notwithstanding, no people in this world ever did achieve their freedom by goody-goody talk and moral suasion: it being immutable law that all revolutions that will succeed, must begin in blood.
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Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away.
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
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I like Joan of Arc best of all my books and it is the best I know it perfectly well.
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
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To eat is human, to digest, divine
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And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
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We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there.
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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
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I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
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