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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Picks
Fight
Politics
Bladder
Fighting
Barrel
Political
Barrels
Never
Ink
People
Patriotic
Pick

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School gets in the way of my learning.
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Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
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In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden
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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf.
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A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
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If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
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Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
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Imagination labors best in distant fields.
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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
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By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.
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It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
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You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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