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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Fight
Politics
Bladder
Fighting
Barrel
Political
Barrels
Never
Ink
People
Patriotic
Pick
Picks
More quotes by Mark Twain
Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
Mark Twain
There is no security in life, only opportunity.
Mark Twain
I was born modest not all over, but in spots.
Mark Twain
Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.
Mark Twain
America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
Mark Twain
A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
Mark Twain
And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
Mark Twain
When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
Mark Twain
Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
Mark Twain
Does the human being reason? No he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.
Mark Twain
Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
Mark Twain
I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.
Mark Twain
I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
Mark Twain
There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
Mark Twain
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
Mark Twain
That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
Mark Twain
One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
Mark Twain
The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.
Mark Twain
