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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Manage
Cancer
Ears
Thoughts
Troubles
Worry
Positivity
Trouble
Heels
Away
Drag
Way
Adversity

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
Mark Twain
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We are always too busy for our children we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
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It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.
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Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything
Mark Twain
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
Mark Twain
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Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be
Mark Twain
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Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.
Mark Twain
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The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible.
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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain
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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
Mark Twain
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Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
Mark Twain
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isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
Mark Twain
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Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
Mark Twain
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
Mark Twain
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From the dome of St. Peter's one can see every notable object in Rome... He can see a panorama that is varied, extensive, beautiful to the eye, and more illustrious in history than any other in Europe.
Mark Twain
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God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
Mark Twain
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A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
Mark Twain
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
Mark Twain