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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Ears
Thoughts
Troubles
Worry
Positivity
Trouble
Heels
Away
Drag
Way
Adversity
Manage
Cancer
More quotes by Mark Twain
Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
Mark Twain
I am only human, although I regret it.
Mark Twain
I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
Mark Twain
Between us, we cover all knowledge he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
Mark Twain
The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
Mark Twain
God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
Mark Twain
A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.
Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Mark Twain
Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
Mark Twain
Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything
Mark Twain
You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
Mark Twain
Travel is lethal to prejudice.
Mark Twain
Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
Mark Twain
Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
Mark Twain
I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return
Mark Twain
I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
Mark Twain
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
Mark Twain
All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
Mark Twain
What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
Mark Twain
Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Mark Twain
