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Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Values
Grief
Care
Friendship
Take
Value
Must
Marriage
Joy
Somebody
Full
Divide
Happiness
Divides

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Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
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Music is a good thing and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully.
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
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In love, you pay as you leave.
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A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.
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Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.
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Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
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It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
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