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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Joy
Secret
Literature
Heaven
Equator
Happiness
Pathetic
Human
Sorrow
Everything
Source
Humans
Humor
More quotes by Mark Twain
Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
Mark Twain
Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
Mark Twain
I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.
Mark Twain
Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.
Mark Twain
Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
Mark Twain
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
Mark Twain
If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
Mark Twain
I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
Mark Twain
The funniest things are the forbidden.
Mark Twain
What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
Mark Twain
I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.
Mark Twain
Independence-is loyalty to one's best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.
Mark Twain
Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
Mark Twain
It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
Mark Twain
Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
Mark Twain
One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
Mark Twain
Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after all, it is an overstatement. If the cholera or black plague should come to these shores, perhaps the bulk of the nation would pray to be delivered from it, but the rest would put their trust in The Health Board.
Mark Twain
He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
Mark Twain
It is better to support schools than jails.
Mark Twain
Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
Mark Twain
