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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Secret
Literature
Heaven
Equator
Happiness
Pathetic
Human
Sorrow
Everything
Source
Humans
Humor
Joy
More quotes by Mark Twain
Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
Mark Twain
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Mark Twain
I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
Mark Twain
The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
Mark Twain
Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
Mark Twain
Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.
Mark Twain
We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
Mark Twain
Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
Mark Twain
It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.
Mark Twain
I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
Mark Twain
They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
Mark Twain
Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.
Mark Twain
More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.
Mark Twain
My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.
Mark Twain
A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
Mark Twain
The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.
Mark Twain
It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.
Mark Twain
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
Mark Twain
