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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Secret
Literature
Heaven
Equator
Happiness
Pathetic
Human
Sorrow
Everything
Source
Humans
Humor
Joy
More quotes by Mark Twain
He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.
Mark Twain
Never tell a lie-except for practice.
Mark Twain
Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
Mark Twain
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
Mark Twain
It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
Mark Twain
Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
Mark Twain
No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
Mark Twain
A habit cannot be tossed out the window it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
Mark Twain
There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
Mark Twain
Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
Mark Twain
This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.
Mark Twain
How superbly brave is the Englishman in the presence of the awfulest forms of danger and death and how abject in the presence of any and all forms of hereditary rank.
Mark Twain
One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's only tto pair and a jack.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
Mark Twain
The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.
Mark Twain
A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
Mark Twain
You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
Mark Twain
There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.
Mark Twain
Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
Mark Twain
