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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Inspiration
Weather
Climate
Garden
Expect

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I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
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If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
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If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.
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That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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It was on the 10th day of May - 1884 - that I confessed to age by mounting spectacles for the first time, and in the same hour I renewed my youth, to outward appearance, by mounting a bicycle for the first time. The spectacles stayed on.
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Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.
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In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.
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The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
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The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.
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... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it! It transforms into desperadoes the weakest of men depicts sinless innocence upon the pictured faces of ruffians gives the wise man the stupid leer of a fool, and the fool an expression of more than earthly wisdom.
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Man can seldom - very, very, seldom - fight a winning fight against his training the odds are too heavy.
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.
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