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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
School
Insightful
Made
Sarcastic
Board
Boards
Idiot
God
Education
Practice
More quotes by Mark Twain
In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
Mark Twain
When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
Mark Twain
Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.
Mark Twain
It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
Mark Twain
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
Mark Twain
I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.
Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain
The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
Mark Twain
Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?
Mark Twain
Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
Mark Twain
To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
Mark Twain
Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.
Mark Twain
You can't throw too much style into a miracle.
Mark Twain
The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
Mark Twain
Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
Mark Twain
I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
Mark Twain
If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.
Mark Twain
A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
Mark Twain
The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
Mark Twain
