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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Inspirational
Clever
Many
Leadership
Great
Courage
Never
Worry
Men
Trouble
Happened
Known
Funny
Troubles
More quotes by Mark Twain
Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
Mark Twain
Prediction is difficult- particularly when it involves the future.
Mark Twain
France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
Mark Twain
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
Mark Twain
The funniest things are the forbidden.
Mark Twain
Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
Mark Twain
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Mark Twain
isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
Mark Twain
English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
Mark Twain
Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
Mark Twain
I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome variety is pleasing.
Mark Twain
When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
Mark Twain
Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
Mark Twain
Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
Mark Twain
Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
Mark Twain
Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?
Mark Twain
Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.
Mark Twain
Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
Mark Twain
Distance lends enchantment to the view.
Mark Twain
