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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Known
Funny
Troubles
Inspirational
Clever
Many
Leadership
Great
Courage
Never
Worry
Men
Trouble
Happened
More quotes by Mark Twain
Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
Mark Twain
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
Mark Twain
Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
Mark Twain
I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.
Mark Twain
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
Mark Twain
Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
Mark Twain
It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.
Mark Twain
Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.
Mark Twain
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
Mark Twain
Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.
Mark Twain
In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.
Mark Twain
Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
Mark Twain
History may not repeat, but it often rhymes.
Mark Twain
I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.
Mark Twain
All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
Mark Twain
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
Mark Twain
I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.
Mark Twain
[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
Mark Twain
Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
Mark Twain
