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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Didn
Witty
Approved
Life
Aging
Attend
Clever
Sarcasm
Letters
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Saying
Funeral
Nice
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More quotes by Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
Mark Twain
Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
Mark Twain
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press
Mark Twain
That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
Mark Twain
I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
Mark Twain
The report of my death was an exaggeration.
Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
Mark Twain
The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
Mark Twain
A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.
Mark Twain
We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.
Mark Twain
Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
Mark Twain
Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
Mark Twain
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Mark Twain
If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.
Mark Twain
The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
Mark Twain
It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
Mark Twain
Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.
Mark Twain
Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
Mark Twain
Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
Mark Twain
