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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Saying
Funeral
Nice
Letter
Funny
Insult
Death
Sent
Repartee
Didn
Witty
Approved
Life
Aging
Attend
Clever
Sarcasm
Letters
Sarcastic
More quotes by Mark Twain
Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Mark Twain
The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.
Mark Twain
We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
Mark Twain
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
Mark Twain
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Mark Twain
Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
Mark Twain
When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
Mark Twain
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
Mark Twain
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
Mark Twain
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
Mark Twain
Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
Mark Twain
All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
Mark Twain
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Mark Twain
There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
Mark Twain
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
Mark Twain
The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
Mark Twain
I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
Mark Twain
