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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Letters
Sarcastic
Saying
Funeral
Nice
Letter
Funny
Insult
Death
Sent
Repartee
Didn
Witty
Approved
Life
Aging
Attend
Clever
Sarcasm
More quotes by Mark Twain
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
Mark Twain
Troubles are only mental it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them.
Mark Twain
What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
Mark Twain
The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.
Mark Twain
I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.
Mark Twain
You want to be very careful about lying otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.
Mark Twain
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
The funniest things are the forbidden.
Mark Twain
Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
Mark Twain
These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
Mark Twain
God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.
Mark Twain
Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.
Mark Twain
Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
Mark Twain
We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.
Mark Twain
Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time.
Mark Twain
Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
Mark Twain
One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain
The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.
Mark Twain
The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible.
Mark Twain