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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Humor
Joy
Funniness
Stand
Supplication
Happiness
Humbug
Strong
Assault
Inspirational
Laughter
Nothing
Laughing
Strength
More quotes by Mark Twain
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Mark Twain
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
Mark Twain
Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened.
Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
Mark Twain
Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
Mark Twain
If one is honest there is no need to remember.
Mark Twain
There isn't any way to libel the human race.
Mark Twain
The truth hurts, but silence kills.
Mark Twain
The proverb says, Born lucky, always lucky, and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
Mark Twain
We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
Mark Twain
I do not want Michael Angelo for breakfast-but for luncheon-for dinner- for tea-for supper-for between meals.
Mark Twain
I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
Mark Twain
I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.
Mark Twain
At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
Mark Twain
There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.
Mark Twain
Frankness is a jewel only the young can afford it.
Mark Twain
Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
Mark Twain
I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
Mark Twain
I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
Mark Twain
You can't throw too much style into a miracle.
Mark Twain
