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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Happiness
Humbug
Strong
Assault
Inspirational
Laughter
Nothing
Laughing
Strength
Humor
Joy
Funniness
Stand
Supplication
More quotes by Mark Twain
From the dome of St. Peter's one can see every notable object in Rome... He can see a panorama that is varied, extensive, beautiful to the eye, and more illustrious in history than any other in Europe.
Mark Twain
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Mark Twain
You may say organize, organize, organize but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.
Mark Twain
The southerner talks music.
Mark Twain
If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.
Mark Twain
A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.
Mark Twain
Every man is in his own person the whole human race without a detail lacking....I knew I should not find in any philosophy a single thought which had not passed through my own head, nor a single thought which had not passed through the heads of millions and millions of men before I was born.
Mark Twain
When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
Mark Twain
I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
Mark Twain
Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
Mark Twain
Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows
Mark Twain
This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.
Mark Twain
Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
Mark Twain
God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.
Mark Twain
The machine has several virtues... One may lean back in his chair and work it. It piles an awful stack of words on one page. It don't muss things or scatter ink blots around.
Mark Twain
My own luck has been curious all my literary life I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
Mark Twain
I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
Mark Twain
The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
Mark Twain
I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain
