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If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
America
Everything
Years
Cincinnati
World
Ten
Later
Modern
Comes
Ends

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The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it
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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died but by and by, you only regret that you didn't see him do it.
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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
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Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
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A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.
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That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
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In love, you pay as you leave.
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Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
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Distance lends enchantment to the view.
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Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
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You can't reason with your heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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Music is a good thing and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully.
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We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
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There are no wild animals until man makes them so.
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Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.
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No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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