Quote

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Jobs
Two
Best
Firsts
First
Frog
Thing
Frogs
Biggest
Morning

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I could forgive the boy, now, if he'd committed a million sins!
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.
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Travel is lethal to prejudice.
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When a man stands on the verge of seventy-two you know perfectly well that he never reached that place without knowing what this life is - heartbreaking bereavement.
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I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being-that is enough for me he can't be any worse.
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I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
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But we love the Old Travelers. We love to hear them prate and drivel and lie.
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
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It was on the 10th day of May - 1884 - that I confessed to age by mounting spectacles for the first time, and in the same hour I renewed my youth, to outward appearance, by mounting a bicycle for the first time. The spectacles stayed on.
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
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When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.
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Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
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I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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