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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Denial
Witty
River
Definitions
Humorous
Rivers
Justice
Stressed
Powerful
Egypt

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This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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They did not know it was impossible so they did it
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When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
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If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.
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The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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The miracle or the power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application and perseverance under the promptings of a brave, determined spirit.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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We are all beggars, each in his own way.
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An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words it feels like music.
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I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.
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It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
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Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
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Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.
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Few of us stand prosperity another man's I mean.
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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
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When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable.
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There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
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