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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Sometimes
Much
Flasks
Barely
Alcohol
Drinking
Drink
Enough

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Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.
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Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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For England must not fall: it would mean an inundation of Russian & German political degradations which would envelop the globe & steep it in a sort of Middle-Age night & slaverly which would last till Christ comes again - which I hope he will not do he made trouble enough before.
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My axiom is, to succeed in business: avoid my example.
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
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When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
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Children have but little charity for one another's defects
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
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Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
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