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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Friends
Young
Flatter
Look
Sign
Looks
Begin
Youth
Sure
Getting
Age

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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
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Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
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Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
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France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
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If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
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His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
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I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
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I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects were—for, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized.
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination
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