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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Humans
Laughter
Really
Weapons
Laughing
Beirut
Joy
Bullying
Race
Weapon
Happiness
Laughed
Business
Effective
Human
Integrity

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I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
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America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
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One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
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We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.
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Don't wait the time is never just right.
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The Mississippi River will always have its own way no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
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You are a coward when you even seem to have backed down from a thing you openly set out to do
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All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.
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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.
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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
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Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
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There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
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The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
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If one is honest there is no need to remember.
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Imagination labors best in distant fields.
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