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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Joy
Bullying
Race
Weapon
Happiness
Laughed
Business
Effective
Human
Integrity
Humans
Laughter
Really
Weapons
Laughing
Beirut
More quotes by Mark Twain
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Mark Twain
Prediction is difficult- particularly when it involves the future.
Mark Twain
Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
Mark Twain
It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
Mark Twain
Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
Mark Twain
Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
Mark Twain
Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
Mark Twain
There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
Mark Twain
When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
Mark Twain
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'
Mark Twain
from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.
Mark Twain
Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
Mark Twain
The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
Mark Twain
Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.
Mark Twain
Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.
Mark Twain
