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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Human
Integrity
Humans
Laughter
Really
Weapons
Laughing
Beirut
Joy
Bullying
Race
Weapon
Happiness
Laughed
Business
Effective
More quotes by Mark Twain
the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
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Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.
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I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
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My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different.
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It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
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One must travel, to learn.
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I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.
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Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.
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When an honest writer discovers an imposition it is his simple duty to strip it bare and hurl it down from its place of honor, no matter who suffers by it any other course would render him unworthy of the public confidence.
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Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.
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