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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Happiness
Laughed
Business
Effective
Human
Integrity
Humans
Laughter
Really
Weapons
Laughing
Beirut
Joy
Bullying
Race
Weapon
More quotes by Mark Twain
Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
Mark Twain
We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.
Mark Twain
To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement.
Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
Mark Twain
It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.
Mark Twain
I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Mark Twain
It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.
Mark Twain
I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
Mark Twain
I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
Mark Twain
The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.
Mark Twain
If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain
You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you
Mark Twain
If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
Mark Twain
We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
Mark Twain
Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.
Mark Twain
Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
Mark Twain
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Mark Twain
One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
Mark Twain
I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
Mark Twain
