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We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Government
Best
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Politics
Funny
Money
More quotes by Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
Mark Twain
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Mark Twain
In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
Mark Twain
When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
Mark Twain
It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
Mark Twain
A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
Mark Twain
I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
Mark Twain
Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge.
Mark Twain
Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.
Mark Twain
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Mark Twain
The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.
Mark Twain
Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
Mark Twain
You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
Mark Twain
To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
Mark Twain
We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
Too much is just enough.
Mark Twain
There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
Mark Twain
Surely the test of a novel's characters is that you feel a strong interest in them and their affairs the good to be successful, the bad to suffer failure. Well, in John Ward, you feel no divided interest, no discriminating interest you want them all to land in hell together, and right away.
Mark Twain
