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Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Gradually
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Eighteen
Born
Eighty
More quotes by Mark Twain
it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
Mark Twain
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
Mark Twain
I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.
Mark Twain
Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
Mark Twain
He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
Mark Twain
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
Mark Twain
It's not as bad as it sounds.
Mark Twain
Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
Mark Twain
India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
Mark Twain
If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.
Mark Twain
If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
Mark Twain
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.
Mark Twain
I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.
Mark Twain
A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and -nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.
Mark Twain
All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
Mark Twain
It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.
Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
Mark Twain
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
Mark Twain
When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.
Mark Twain