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Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Age
Eighteen
Born
Eighty
Would
Infinitely
Time
Gradually
Life
Happier
Birthday
Aging
Approach
More quotes by Mark Twain
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
Mark Twain
There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people and not anywhere else can these be had.
Mark Twain
The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
Mark Twain
It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
Mark Twain
Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild
Mark Twain
Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed.
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Tough times teach trust.
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Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
Mark Twain
There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.
Mark Twain
All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
Mark Twain
Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
Mark Twain
Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.
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Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
Mark Twain
I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
Mark Twain
The solution to our water problems is more rain.
Mark Twain
My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
Mark Twain
