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Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Eighteen
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Eighty
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Happier
More quotes by Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain
Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
Mark Twain
All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
Mark Twain
A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain
It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.
Mark Twain
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Mark Twain
Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
Mark Twain
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
Mark Twain
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
Mark Twain
It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.
Mark Twain
More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.
Mark Twain
There is not an acre of ground on the globe that is in possession of its rightful owner, or that has not been taken away from owner after owner, cycle afer cycle, by force and bloodshed.
Mark Twain
To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.
Mark Twain
There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
Mark Twain
Bridgeport? Said I. Camelot, Said he.
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Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
Mark Twain
One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
Mark Twain
it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
Mark Twain
Travel is lethal to prejudice.
Mark Twain
