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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Swear
Count
Rage
Anger
Angry
Inspiration
Four

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I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
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There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
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The ancients stole all our ideas from us.
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As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.
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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
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Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.
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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
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By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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The new political gospel: public office is private graft.
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To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
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