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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Stands
Spiritual
Mad
Remember
Psychological
Life
Humorous
Mysteries
Madness
Explained
Disappear
Sanity
Mystery
Insanity
Humor
Depression

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Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.
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All human rules are more or less idiotic.
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.
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It is better to support schools than jails.
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That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
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One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
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But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
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I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome variety is pleasing.
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Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.
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I like criticism, but it must be my way.
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There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
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To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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