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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Witty
More quotes by Mark Twain
There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
Mark Twain
Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
Mark Twain
I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
Mark Twain
We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge
Mark Twain
I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return
Mark Twain
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.
Mark Twain
Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.
Mark Twain
Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
Mark Twain
The machine has several virtues... One may lean back in his chair and work it. It piles an awful stack of words on one page. It don't muss things or scatter ink blots around.
Mark Twain
I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
Mark Twain
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
Mark Twain
Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
Mark Twain
Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows
Mark Twain
in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
Mark Twain
Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
Mark Twain
I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.
Mark Twain
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
Mark Twain
The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
Mark Twain
