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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Drink
Dieting
Health
Wellness
Food
Nutrition
Rather
Witty
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Way
Eating
Like
Healthy

More quotes by Mark Twain

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If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'
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There is a sumptuous variety about the New England weather... In the spring I have counted one hundred and twenty-six different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours.
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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results
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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
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A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out.
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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
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isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
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A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
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Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
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France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
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Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy aristocracy of the American type.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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Do one thing every day you don't want to do.
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I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.
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The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
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