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My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Deals
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Mothering
Mother
Parenting
Children
Motherhood
Great
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Mom
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Deal
More quotes by Mark Twain
An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.
Mark Twain
When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
Mark Twain
I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.
Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
Mark Twain
There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
Mark Twain
Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!
Mark Twain
When one's character begins to fall under suspicion and disfavor, how swift, then, is the work of disintegration and destruction.
Mark Twain
All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
Mark Twain
The lightning there is peculiar it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.
Mark Twain
I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
Mark Twain
All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
Mark Twain
There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
Mark Twain
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Mark Twain
Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
Mark Twain
The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
Mark Twain
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
Mark Twain
Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
Mark Twain
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
Mark Twain
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
