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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Boards
Place
Idiot
School
Educational
Firsts
Silly
First
God
Equator
Made
Crazy
Schooled
Life
Education
Idiots
Practice
Graduation
More quotes by Mark Twain
A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.
Mark Twain
We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.
Mark Twain
I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.
Mark Twain
There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
Mark Twain
A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
Mark Twain
We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.
Mark Twain
Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
Mark Twain
The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.
Mark Twain
Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
Mark Twain
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
Mark Twain
No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
Mark Twain
It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.
Mark Twain
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
You may say organize, organize, organize but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.
Mark Twain
A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
Mark Twain
To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
Mark Twain
There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people and not anywhere else can these be had.
Mark Twain
First catch your Boer, then kick him.
Mark Twain
If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
Mark Twain
