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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Firsts
Silly
First
God
Equator
Made
Crazy
Schooled
Life
Education
Idiots
Practice
Graduation
Funny
Boards
Place
Idiot
School
Educational

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Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
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When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?
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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
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There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species.
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.
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There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.
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We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us to advertise what we wear them to conceal.
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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
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A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more We, A little less I, A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the stri
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