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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Idiot
Prohibition
Political
Suppose
Governing
Life
Drinking
Sarcastic
Congress
Repeat
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Repeats
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Libertarian
Politics
Witty
Poisonous
More quotes by Mark Twain
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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
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No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes
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To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.
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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
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Creed and opinion change with time, and their symbols perish but Literature and its temples are sacred to all creeds and inviolate.
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
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Homely truth is unpalatable.
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We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
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Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
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As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.
Mark Twain
