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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Congress
Repeat
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Repeats
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Liberty
Libertarian
Politics
Witty
Poisonous
Funny
Idiot
Prohibition
Political
Suppose
Governing
Life
Drinking
Sarcastic
More quotes by Mark Twain
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
Mark Twain
Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
Mark Twain
None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
Mark Twain
It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
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Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.
Mark Twain
I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
Mark Twain
The pause - that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, howsoever felicitous, could accomplish it.
Mark Twain
They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.
Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
Mark Twain
I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
Mark Twain
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
Mark Twain
It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
Mark Twain
Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
Mark Twain
Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
Mark Twain
Delicacy - a sad, sad false delicacy - robs literature of the two best things among its belongings: Family-circle narratives & obscene stories.
Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
Mark Twain
Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
Mark Twain
The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
Mark Twain
