Our preachers weren't always right, but they were never in doubt.

I hate puns. And, I'm tired of pardoning them.

I do one sit up a day. I get up in the morning, that's the first half. I lay down at night, that's the second half.

Love the sinner, hate the sin? How about: Love the sinner, hate your own sin! I don't have time to hate your sin. There are too many of you! Hating my sin is a full-time job. How about you hate your sin, I'll hate my sin and let's just love each other!

God spreads grace like a 4-year old spreads peanut butter-He gets it all over everything.

I think the Pentecostals have done a great thing for the Kingdom of God. I think Baptists have done a great thing, oh, Protestants, I should say, have done a great thing for the Kingdom of God, so whenever Satan tries to divide, it's just really God multiplying.

The things you're crying about today, you might be laughing about in ten years ... and then again ... maybe not.

The self-righteous have their fig leaves so tightly bound that they have forgotten the seeping wounds beneath the foliage.