We have learned to take life seriously, but never ourselves.

Only a few things are really important.

I never weep over lost money, for I figure I'd rather go to the poorhouse once than go there every day.

If ants are such busy workers, how come they find time to go to all the picnics?

Fate cast me to play the role of an ugly duckling with no promise of swanning. . . . I have played my life as a comedy rather than the tragedy many would have made of it.

I never ride horseback now because my sympathy with the under-dog is too keen. After we have a gone a few blocks, I always dismount and say to the horse: 'We'll walk it together, old dear.

To know that one has never really tried - that is the only death

Now I know that lawyers must live, but I've never been able to understand why they have to live so blamed well!

the human heart clings - even to its pain.

In order to represent life on the stage, we must rub elbows with life, live ourselves

There are very few persons who would think of inquiring into the private life of the newspaper dealer at the corner, or the druggist, or the doctor, or even a Mah Jong partner, but the moment one belongs to the theatrical profession, the public usually feels cheated unless it knows one's inmost thoughts of love.

I enjoy reading biographies because I want to know about the people who messed up the world.

That's the unfortunate thing about death. It's so terribly final.

Never one thing and seldom one person can make for a success. It takes a number of them merging into one perfect whole.

I was born serious and I have earned my bread making other people laugh.

You're only as good as your last picture.