Quote

I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I'm impatient. It's very charming.

Maria Bamford

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Maria Bamford
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: September 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Port Hueneme
California
Maria Elizabeth Sheldon Bamford
Sort
Start
Grumbling
Father
Clearing
People
Impatient
Charming
Throat
Honor
Short

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Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices.
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We’re all doing the best we can and sometimes it is not that good.
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Time flies when you are anxious!
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I think the Internet has made it easier for people to connect with things that they really like, as well as provide a more personal experience, of 'I found this!' and then you can pass it to friends.
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I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about an eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?
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Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own opinion in my own voice.
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I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It's like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better.
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Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love!
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I have received more fulfillment and adulation than I would ever know what to do with in terms of show business.
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I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because thats been said to me.
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I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody's jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and I just love that part.
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If you're ever if you're ever thinking, “Oh, but I'm a waste of space and I'm a burden,” remember: that also describes the Grand Canyon. Why don't you have friends and family take pictures of you from a safe distance? Revel in your majestic profile?
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People get really irritated by mental illness.
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There's a reason I'm a stand-up comedian. I think there may be some laziness inherent in that job. It's the four-hour work week, on some level. I mean, I work at it, but it's not that kind of... it's just not the hours at all. So I was extremely grateful for the job. It was super, super fun, and I'm surprised that I made it.
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The thing that keeps the thoughts coming back is the power that you put in the thought that you can't think of it.
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When you're a comedian, you're just by yourself.
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I love festivals because they seem like more of an artsy, supportive attitude - which benefits a more theatrical performer sometimes with having theater and other non-club venues, as well as the audience being filled with other artists. It's nice to be with other comics, as usually at other road gigs, I'm solo for the most part.
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I find it creatively satisfying to write material and say it out loud in a public place, whether or not anyone's listening.
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My therapist says I'm afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would REALLY cut into my sitting-around time
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Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough.
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